The Golden Rule

Pastor Clay

All my life I have heard of “The Golden Rule”, most commonly taken from the King James Version of Matthew 7:12, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. The Lord Jesus said that, and I found that something similar appears in many cultures. Despite some searching, I could not find out why people took to calling it “golden”, but it fits.

As Jesus spoke about “The Golden Rule” in Matthew 7:12, he added that this is what the Old Testament laws are all about! Even more significant is the answer Jesus gave when an opponent asked Him to sum up the most important point in God’s law for us. “‘Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?’ And He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind’. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets’” (Matthew 22:36-40). So, we would do well to understand and practice the Golden Rule.

James chimed in and called it the “royal law”. He said, “If you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Then you are doing well” (James 2:8). So since fulfilling the royal law means I am doing well, what does it mean?

What does the other person need?

First, as with all of the scripture, it is important to give it the amount of thought that it deserves. Start by focusing on it, meditate on it. That is so, like God told Joshua, “you will be careful to do according to all that is written in it” (Joshua 1:8).

After meditating on these verses, something that has come to me is that I need to love others in the way they want/need to be loved. This is a different twist on the Golden Rule. I could do unto others as I would have them do to me, give them what I want and need. But is it what they want and need?? Maybe something that means a great deal to me would mean very little to them, while I am missing the obvious thing they need. And really, it still fits the Golden Rule. Don’t we want others to consider our wants/needs?

Gary Chapman has written the bestseller, The Five Love Languages. In it, he posits that each of us have one of five love languages, in a non-sexual sense, that make us feel loved. His list is gifts, loving acts of service, affirming words, quality time, and non-sexual touch. With almost everyone I have talked to in helping relationships over the years, one of these will mean the more to them. So, if I am to fulfill the Golden Rule, could I learn and practice their “love language”, even if it is not my own? It’s a good read, all my pre-marriage couples get a copy.

Re-thinking the Golden Rule has found its way into my prayers for couples who are significant to me and I pray for them. Lord, help them to love each other, in the way the other wants and needs to be loved.