Please Do Not Tell Me What I Think
At fast glance of today’s title, one might think it says, “please do not tell me what TO think”, but that’s not it at all. Today I want to address the interesting phenomenon of assumptions and speculations. These can quickly become truth in our mind when they may not be true at all. And all too often we run with it and it is a major source of conflict among us. So please do not tell me what I think.
Let me unpack this thought for you. The word “speculation” is an interesting word, there are quite a few online dictionaries, but the term basically means “the forming of a theory or conjecture without firm evidence”. We see something and make an assumption based on it.
Speculation
It runs like this. This situation must be this way, or this person must think this way. I see it on their face, I hear it in their tone, they would not say this, if this was not true. It’s going to come out a total disaster because this happened, or this person is involved in it, or any number of factors. Sometimes we make major decisions based on speculation, which is very risky, which is why investing in uncertain stocks is called “speculation”.
Sometimes it gets really bad, he is a pastor, so he must think this. He is so and so’s friend, and that guy is a scoundrel so he must be one too. He sells used cars, so he must be dishonest. Scripture warns us though, “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him” (Proverbs 18:13). Please do not tell me what I think!
The Golden Rule
This really runs amok with men and women and is a problem in marriage. God made us different, and not just physically. Plus there is the factor of each person’s unique personality. So if we look at them, their actions, their likes, dislikes, choice of words, choice of silence only through our filter, we likely get it wrong. Do we really know what we are absolutely sure we think we know? The Lord Jesus said, “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you” (Luke 6:31). This, the “golden rule” is expressed several ways in scripture. I want to add an application. Treat others in the way they would like to be treated. And we need to be sure that we know what that is!
Speculation is warned against in the scripture, it was used to great effect by Satan to Eve in the Garden of Eden, making her speculate that God was cheating her by not letting her eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (story in Genesis 3). The New Testament has this blunt warning “But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels” (2 Timothy 2:23).
Can Spoil a Really Nice Relationship
This is the thing that has deeply divided our nation, people’s assumptions that all people of a particular race, ideology, religion, or view on what is good politics think a certain way, and should be shunned. Sorry, I am not going to give up on the huge percentage of my nation that does not see things the same way I do. If you look at my list of people whom I enjoy their company, you will find many whose worldview does not match mine. It is not a problem unless we make it a problem, or let speculations sneak in and spoil a really nice relationship. Please do not tell me what I think, and I will honor you with the same!
Tax Collectors
Something came to me recently. The organized crime of the day in Jesus’ time were the tax collectors. They were Jews who collaborated with the Romans, which was bad enough, but they also scammed their fellow Jews by collecting more than the Romans required in taxes. The Romans turned a blind eye, as long as they got their cut. No one could object because the tax gatherers had Roman Centurions for enforcers. Matthew, who wrote the first Gospel, was converted out of this life. He was so excited, he had a dinner, and invited all his friends (other tax collectors and various miscreants) to supper.
He Invited Jesus
Jesus went to supper with them. “There was a great crowd of tax collectors and other people who were reclining at the table with them” (Luke 5:29). Consider the shock value of this, “The Pharisees and their scribes began grumbling at His disciples, saying ‘why do you eat with tax collectors and sinners?’” (Luke 5:30). His classic response was “And Jesus answered and said to them, “It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:31,32).
No Agenda
But notice something with me. It does not say that Jesus preached to them, or straightened them out, or challenged them. It says he ate supper with them. Can we make friends and spend time with people without an agenda for them? Even if we think we know what they think, and it might be something odious? Jesus got it right. Somehow, the spotless holy Son of God could sit down and have supper and not make a group of people massively uncomfortable by His presence.
Could we do the same? Or do our speculations put up a barrier to where we don’t take people as they are?
I think if we will really
- consider one another,
- be open to one another,
- listen to one another, the message gets across.
It sure did for Jesus.
Please do not tell me what I think.
Chasing Sunsets – Pastor Clay’s Devotions
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