Facing Disappointment
Facing disappointment can be one of the worst feelings in the world. Often times it makes us feel unappreciated, upset, and that we don’t measure up. So many times in our life we get this feeling whether it’s at work, home, or with our friends we face disappointment in all aspects of our lives. We get our hopes built up only to have the hammer of reality come crashing down and smash out any hope or desire that we had built up inside.
I’ll never forget game 7 of the 2014 World Series. It seemed like that Royals weren’t going to pull it out. The Giants sent in Madison Baumgartner to pitch the ninth. He got 2 quick outs then suddenly with the crack of Alex Gordons bat he hit a triple. I quickly felt the feeling of defeat leave. The Royals were now 90 feet away from tying and getting the winning run on base. I remember all of us at the church clinching our teeth and fists, cheering as our home town hero Salvador Perez dig in. There was nobody else we would rather see come to the plate and knock Alex in. He took some great hacks but popped it up into foul territory, I’ll never forget the Giants third baseman Pablo Sandoval catch and record the final out. Watching our field be covered in black and orange as the Giants stormed the field in celebration. Watching our players and fans just watch in disappointment. I felt that happiness inside me just sink. We packed up our watch party in silence, it seemed so surreal that the Royals lost the World Series.
Even as a Christian it feels like we encounter this feeling often.
We feel like we face disappointment on a regular basis. It seems like we get our hopes up on something only to have it be taken away. Our first thought often times (even in my case) we are so quick to blame God. We focus on the “blessings” part and get mad when God doesn’t bless us or provide in the way we think. So as Christians, what should be our Godly response when we face disappointment? How do we handle it, and view disappointment in a way that still honors God and causes us to not feel selfish?
Is this something I need to be disappointed over?
The first question we need to ask ourselves is this something I need to be disappointed over? I’ve discovered in my life that they’re no sense in getting disappointed over something that’s meaningless. We pour so much time, effort, and personal affections into sports team. Do I like seeing my team win and be successful, absolutely? Am I going to be sad when they lose, absolutely. Do I need to be broken up and depressed over it, absolutely not! We get so emotionally invested in things that we have zero control over and brings us huge disappointment. So I didn’t win the church softball league this season oh well, maybe next year! However there are definitely situations that it’s okay to be disappointed over.
So we didn’t get a job we were hoping for. We feel that we deserved it based off our work ethic, merit, and loyalty to the company are get let down. Before blaming God for not getting what we want, ask the question of what is God trying to teach me? I’ve discovered that it’s through disappointment and defeat that I learn the best. God uses those times of facing disappointment to help me grow closer to him. To understand that I’m weak on my own, and need to come running to him instead.
In our culture we focus so much on one’s self.
At an early age we are taught self-reliance. We are taught teamwork however we need to be the best we can so we don’t let ourselves down. I feel over the last few years there has been a decline in team sports. People care more about personal gain than group gain. Disappointing others in my opinion is way worse than disappointing myself. I play baseball and softball, and one of the worst feelings ever is giving up a hit, or causing the team to lose because I failed to come out and preform. We are focused so much on performing, doing well, and avoid facing disappointment for ourselves and others.
With this mindset on self, we forget to rely on others. It gets harder and harder to rely on someone else because deep down we are taught at an early age that others can let us down. So when we open our Bible and Jesus tells us to cast our pain and afflictions on Christ we don’t understand. You mean God wants to help us? He wants us to come to him with our burdens? That means we have to give up control and face the possibility of God letting us down. We forget that God is in control, and will take care of us.
God is in Control
As we are facing disappointment in our lives it sometimes gets to the point of not understanding why. We cry out to God and just ask why. Why does it seem that everything I try and do is a failure? Or that I take interest in something and it doesn’t work out? Why do I pour my heart, soul, sweat, and tears into something and it feels like God slams the door in our face? Often times as I’ve said, God is in control. He knows what’s best for us. He can see the future and knows the outcomes and wants the best for us.
Now I’m not saying just sit back and have no worries because we are still called to work and live our life for Christ. But demonstrate our calling of having faith and patience with God. We get passed up for a job, all we think about is how we didn’t get it and it would have been perfect, and all my problems would be answered.
God has a plan for us and wants the best for us.
Often times though we don’t think about the fact that we may not see our families much anymore causing problems. We can’t serve Christ’s church how we are called to do. Or we get so focused at work it consumes who we are. God has a plan for us and wants the best for us. We can’t let a feeling of temporary sadness take over and dictate how we live our lives.
Disappointment is one of the hardest emotions to control (especially for me). I hate letting myself down along with causing others to feel disappointed in me. Growing up it hurt more when my parents would tell me that they weren’t mad, just disappointed because I knew better. Was a shot to the heart every time! But as Christians we WILL be facing disappointment. Its not a matter of when, but how we handle it.
Do we blame God and everyone around us?
Or do we take ownership of how we failed and cling to God? It’s a life of thanking God for the opportunity and thanking him for watching out for us. Then using it as a learning experience. Calling the company and asking for feedback on why you didn’t get the position. Communicating with your spouse to explain how/why you feel disappointed. We can’t let a negative temporary feeling today cast a dark shadow on the possibility of tomorrow’s victory.
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